Last year was a pretty rough year. It was amazing, inspiring, filled with people who were supportive and fun and encouraging.
But it was rough.
I got sick three separate times within two weeks before races. In April, I broke a finger, which got me stuck on the trainer for five weeks... During the build for Ironman Texas. After five hours on a trainer, I wanted to chuck it out the window. After Ironman Texas, I wound up with an abcess in my armpit. I had hit my race weight in March, but was unable to stop losing weight. In November I had a medical issue that keep me from the sport for six weeks.
Which means I've been back at it now for just a few weeks.
Oh my. The last few weeks have been more demoralizing than anything ever in my athletic career. My running speed has fallen so much I can't even begin to approach what I was doing in October. My weight has climbed, and as a former fat girl, the terror and depression that this invites is horrifying. It was only in the last few days that I found some groove in the water again. After that swim, I was so exhausted that I pushed back a long run so I could get a rest day.
So why am I posting this? I've spent the last year focusing on the positive in my life and refusing to dwell on how hard things get sometimes. So if the positive is the only thing that I try to give focus in my life, why am I even putting this in writing?
Because I've learned that this kind of thing happens to everyone. Statistics indicate that roughly 10% of athletes are injured in any one year.
I'm kind of hoping that someone will read this and know that he/she isn't alone. I'm hoping that someone will read this and realize that even at rock bottom, you can choose to only let the positive gain traction in your mind.
As for me, I'm working hard. I feel like I've lost a lot, but I refuse to let it be for long. I'm going back to dealing with the negative but emphasizing the positive changes and events. One day at a time, one workout at a time. I will not dwell in despair, but focus on each small accomplishment, one at a time, until they pave the way to larger goals.